I AM ..............

I was supposed to be writing a newsletter, my early morning quiet time started at 5 am today, these reflections were in my head and to honour that seed of creativity , I thought do you know what the newsletter can wait. If I am trusting in the flow, I can make that a true act of surrender , why do I really need a newsletter anyway , the right people will cross our path if they are meant to. If certainly feels like everyone we have met so far has curiosity to delve a little more into the self.

At the weekend we held our first ever day retreats in our really peaceful new space on the top floor of Letheringsett Watermill, It was such wonderful timing after the opening as It was international women's day. In the past I never considered it much, to be an important day - now my thoughts are different.

We are also supporting the amazing Norfolk charity The Pandora Project who do incredible work for women and children who have survived the toxic cycle and horror of domestic violence.

Everything is always changing thankfully, we are always evolving and we are truly all in constant flow, nothing stays the same. Tough times can, do and will pass.

Over the two days twenty gloriously, funny, vibrant, beautiful women gathered in our little space, we started with a Yin yoga practice and listening to the group breathing made my soul smile, this was followed with a candle meditation known as a Trataka -which is an ancient yogic practice that involves gazing at a single point - the flame.

This can help us achieve a state of concentration or awareness. For those struggling as to what this is, have you ever sat by a fireside and felt mesmerised and a little spaced out by the flames - well this is the same thing. only it has been a meditative practice for thousands of years. If you are looking for a way to start you day with intention or journal, thinking about this seed of creativity within you, light a candle and watch the flicker.

The super creative writer and painter Antonia Clare with her soft, grounded and gentle tone eased us into some journaling prompts, writing in stunning notebooks, it inspired some wonderful deep and heartfelt conversation's. A safe space for us to look at all the narratives we hold, dreams and hopes buried in our hearts. We can change dialogue in these groups, heal wounds, lift one another up, encourage and find acceptance in each other and ourselves in these spaces. Being in a space like this with women makes my heart feel full.

At the weekend we had many conversations about the statement and words.

I AM

What does I am mean ?

Just those two words. Interestingly for probably every women in the room we identified we all struggled to say them alone. we struggled with I am and leaving it at that. We could all say it easily in conjunction with our societal roles and labels - I am a wife, I am a mother, I am married, I am divorced, I am single.

Interestingly as soon as those roles, those labels, those lines, became a little bit skewed, as soon as they were challenged, the concept of I am, sat uncomfortably with some.

It actually shifted from I am to What am I?

My kids have gone, I have split up from my partner, I left my career it was my identity, who am I now, I am not a wife, who am I now they have gone, who am I without that someone needing me the way they used to? I am not a mother, who am I , without that function in society. What does a life like that without

having kids even look like, who will take care of me when I am old?

Is it not interesting how this beautiful concept of I am can easily become a concept of lack, comparison, fear or shame. I am here to tell you as someone who has been navigating a path a little less travelled by many , these notions in our minds are just that - notions, constructs of the mind, the same monkey mind that would have you so busy , you forget that seed of unique creativity buried deep within your soul. With this dialogue in our minds we disconnect from our self, from our inner spark, our flame, our highest self that would allow the best version of you.

I watched everyone squirm a bit trying to vocalise, verbalise things like I am a painter, I am a writer, I am a singer, I am a dancer, I am a creator, 'I am the artist of my own life' are words used by my inspirational teacher Miriam Indries. Miriam teaches yoga so it is accessible to all shapes, sizes, genders, minds and souls. she teaches you to step back into your joy and self belief, she changed my world and the trajectory of my path entirely. Along with the thought leader and my wonderful mate Wendy O'Beirne The Completion Coach. (Who is with us on the 12th April)

These creative statements of I am could be deemed a bit arrogant, who is she, being all full of herself? Too much or maybe even a bit egotistical. This is a deep core wounding that needs healing in all of us. This is where old conditioning, old stories, old karma, samskaras , the learning and teaching we have had, must drop away if things are ever truly to change for women in our lifetimes. We have to heal ourselves and each other as a collective. We unlearn all of the things that are just not ours to hold and never have been.

The path of yoga leads you to consider the five layers of the self - Pancha kosha for those of you who would like a little further reading. The coverings that can be chipped away. The path of yoga depending on what you are open to, can lead you to peel away the layers of the self, mentally and physically. It can lead you to challenge everything and question all, looking at life with curiosity and wonder. It is why a yoga path or a spiritual path is not always an easy path as you change, many things will naturally fall away from your life. This opens you up to more growth. What you are not changing you are choosing.

The words I am enough, you have been since the day you were born and you will continue to be until the day you die, there is nothing in your life that you can do that will make you not enough, you just need to work on believing that about yourself. Easier said than done believe me I really do know.

These words are from teachings in yoga and the internet:

I am signifies a deep connection to one's true self, often interpreted as a declaration of one's existence and identity, essentially representing the divine spark within each individual.

I am - Divine connection

I am is seen as a way to access one's higher self and connect to the divine source,

I am followed by a desired quality, one can manifest that quality into their life.

I am is considered to be beyond the limitations of the personal ego, representing the pure essence of being.

Well there you go no wonder maybe that is why it is such a big thing to grapple with.

Whatever you tell yourself you are, please know it is enough.

Affirmations may help or they may not.

Affirmations are a way to talk more kindly to ourselves, with I am affirmations , it heals our root chakra also known as muladhara it is located at the base of the spine , the place all healing needs to start, this is effects how we show up in the world, how we were raised, how we feel about our selves and our connections to others, it helps us feel grounded and secure, helps us nurture our well being helps us let go of fear. When this chakra is out of balance we can feel physical issues like constipation and bowel issues, emotional issues like feeling unsafe, unstable, anxious and fearful, we can lack trust. Affirmations can be used to help rewire our brains, telling our selves positive statements it can help us rewrite the scripts we are living from. It can highlight what negative loops we have in our minds, all of this are just constructs of the mind and do not exist in reality.

If you feel this resonates and you struggle to make I am statements, repeat these affirmations to yourself, even better look at yourself in the mirror and say these things or maybe just start with a few.

I am capable of achieving my goals

I am worthy of love and respect

I am growing and improving every day

I am courageous

I am valued

I am successful

I am confident

I am strong

I am love

I am kindness

I am compassionate.

If you find this hard to do , then dare I say it, you have identified your work. They say there is much joy on the other side of discomfort. Always treat yourself with compassion and grace when trying these affirmations it can be super tough to begin with.

Please instead of telling yourself everything you are not , start by working with I AM , I AM, IAM and so it is !

Close your eyes, breathe , Imagine a world where instead of constantly tearing ourselves or others down , listening to those inner critics, imagine a world where you truly believed in yourself and you could look yourself in the eye and say I am enough, you can make a fresh choice for you life with every new breath, you can believe these positive statements with some consistency and work - this is what the practices are here for to heal, grow, find peace and contentment in our hearts.

Namaste - the light you see in me is the light I see in you.

see you on the mat soon

Clare xxx

PS I AM ..off to write that newsletter so you might get two emails from me today or maybe tomorrow x