From the start with The Completion coach

 A letter of gratitude to Wendy O’Beirne also known as -The completion coach.

I met Wendy in 2021 I was at a big crossroads in my life, since that time Wendy has helped me to become more self aware and mentally agile, I thought she was a life coach when I first started working with her — she is that and also so much more, I could go as far to say she is magical , empowering , abundantly full of joy, a complete treasure who I am very thankful to have met.

Initially a close friend told me to check Wendy out on Instagram a text message with a link to Wendy’s page said. ‘I think you will really love this lady called The Completion Coach.’ She was not wrong. I listened to one of Wendy’s recorded workshops whilst driving home from work, pulled into the petrol station in Cheshunt unable to stop myself from sobbing a bucket load of tears, clearly, they had been held back for a long time, being in the police was not the place to openly express heartfelt emotions or your inner most desires, any tears would have been viewed as weakness. What Wendy was saying struck me hard, how had I got this far in life and not realised how I had been behaving, how I felt about myself, how I was talking to myself was exactly why I was getting stuck. Now I have spent time with Wendy, I know she would reply to my watery deluge with a huge grin and a glint in her eye and say, ‘Your welcome’. Knowing crying was freeing up my emotions, the start of letting go, releasing the tight controlling grip we have on our own lives.

I booked a one to one with Wendy for a day, I travelled to her home and walked in. The day was called ‘Alchemise’ — The meaning of the word- transmuting pain into liberation freedom from beliefs or fears that no longer serve us.

Wendy’s room, filled with crystals, invoked a big part of me that wanted to leg it. This was far removed from my comfort zone. Wendy’s friendly smile and infectious laugh, put me at ease immediately. I sat down on her sofa.

She read from a journal, I had filled out a form prior to this meeting, We had never met before, Wendy had journaled about me as me, to my surprise what she had written had been locked in the vault of my heart — no one knew these things, I was a master at keeping my true feelings well-hidden from everyone, maybe even from myself at that time. With intrigue and curiosity, the day unfolded. She led a guided meditation, breathwork and helped me reframe old stories that were very much on a dull, boring loop in my mind. It was not a comfortable day as I had to face some harsh realities around how I was showing up and what I was bringing to the table. I had never experienced a day like it before. I started to gain some clarity, she sent me off with a few crystals in hand, I was not sure how I felt about the day at that stage or what effect it would have on me long term, I felt understood and heard, it felt good. Over the next few weeks, we spoke more on the phone as she followed up closely on how I had been progressing. It became clear that I needed to try and reconnect to my own body, I had felt disconnected from myself and my life for quite some time. As a result I got back into my Yoga practice which helped me feel grounded again — I had left a long career in the police, got married and lost all sense of purpose , unable to have a family of my own I had never been so unsure of myself. My police career had been such a huge part of my identity and my ego, who was I without all these labels?

Later that year I booked to go on retreat with Wendy, held at a beautiful glamping venue near Lincoln called Perusha. I had never been on a retreat before, I had never spent a week with a group of women other than on boozy hen parties or girls holidays, even then I would often take myself off, in need of space to recharge. I was fairly sure I was not comfortable in groups of women as I had a deep-rooted hidden belief, I was unlikeable, unlovable and way too much for most people. I had been so used to working with men , they seemed so much more straight forward than women to me, they seemed to say what they meant, that had not been my experience with many of the women I had known at least that was the story I had been telling myself, I was not sure what to expect, definitely had some preconceptions and judgements around what it would be like. The realisation was that I had never been in a sober circle of women committed to self-enquiry, growth and willing to face their own shit — I was forty-four years old at this point. It amazed me I had no friends that I had made without alcohol being consumed to the point of falling over — especially in my twenties. What would it be like to meet a group of women without alcohol as a mask. I felt anxious.

Prior to this retreat I had booked to go on my months 200 hour yoga teacher training course which would take place at the end of the year — I booked this after the day with Wendy with the intention of just trying to get a better understanding of yoga, the philosophy and maybe progressing my own practice whilst trying to connect me back to me. When I booked this course, I had absolutely no notion to teach I just thought it would help me heal a bit. I was feeling quite broken in myself during this time.

Wendy knows when you are presenting , you know that cheeky little best version you put forward when you meet someone new or that social situation when you find your ego rounding up your own identity by slightly embellishing the job description or whatever else makes you puff out the chest — I know I have done it. There is no hiding from Wendy. I tend to avoid fitting in boxes these days, refusing to bend to fit in to certain social circles, your vibe attracts your tribe has never been truer, it takes a while to find the confidence to be as you are, socially we are meant to be connected and not make islands of ourselves or make ourselves smaller to fit. The group of women on this retreat where incredible, strong, intelligent, witty, funny and committed to facing themselves head on, they were all an inspiration to me. I felt seen heard and validated for the first time in a long time. This experience on this retreat with Wendy was beyond all expectations and empowering, I came away believing in myself, I had found a support network in the other women too. Wendy really encouraged me to get back into the yoga, the chance conversation with the yoga teacher on the retreat gave me the biggest nudge when I told her about the impending training course.

Our conversation went like this.

YOGA TEACHER. ‘So, what are you going to do with the course clare?’

‘oh i don’t know deepen my practice a little’ I replied

YOGA TEACHER. ‘You should teach, use the course, don’t put it off or you will lose your confidence, name your group now, find a venue, advertise your first class and get it going’.

ME. ‘Oh I don’t know about all that, I haven’t done the course yet’.

YOGA TEACHER. ‘It doesn’t matter get on with it’.

In truth at that time I thought she was slightly mad, fancy naming a group before you have even qualified to teach — Wendy had worked her magic on me during that week, the culmination of Wendy’s teachings and my chance chat with the lovely yoga teacher made me think why not, why not me, why not now. Over the following week I listened to the nudge, I got home, I am the storm yoga was born, village hall booked, flyers made and put out into the world. I went to Greece completed my teacher training, halfway through the course my first class which was going to take place on the 12th of January 2022 was fully booked. GULP. From the moment of the conversation that inspired and scared me, there was synchronicity, alignment and a knowing I was on the right path — it is hard to explain, it is a story all by itself, one for another day.

Wendy creates such safe spaces for women to gather and peel off the masks and labels we become attached to, she allows people space to process their feelings and emotions, with grace, humour and with love she coaches us back to ourselves, finding safety through heartfelt connection by being vulnerable with each other.

During this retreat so much came up emotionally especially in meditation, I went quite deeply into a meditative state as Wendy guided us along. We would journal and share at the conclusion, I started to find a love of writing.

From the second retreat so much shifted the following year saw more yoga teacher training, moving house to a beautiful dream home, a year not without it’s struggles, it is all a part of life, there was family issues, my husband navigating selling his business, followed by the realisation of the fact was seriously suffering with high functioning anxiety and had for most of his life, a new rescue pup came to live with us , a big solo trip to India planned and some new beautiful friendships including one that started to develop with Wendy — after spending a little time together we found we laughed a lot, she reminded me how to have fun. I had lots of self doubt and had pushed away those who loved me, there was connection, disconnection , boundaries and heartache it was a wonderful year of learning and accepting all of it as part of life’s rich tapestry, learning we always have choice we can flip the tapestry on to the back and choose which cords, which threads we are going to pull and explore.

Wendy often runs online workshops; she has an amazing podcast these days called ‘and what else?’. Journaling prompts were sent out over the new year — not looking for resolutions instead sending us deep probing questions, true Wendy style — She asked for a word, one word that would be a focus or an intention for 2024 — my word I chose ‘contentment.’ That was to be my focus I was tired of feeling like I was never enough for myself. Contentment was my main focus for 2024.

January was off to a wondrous start I spent a month in India on a vinyasa yoga training course, I adored my time sapping up the Indian culture and meeting some wonderful new people. I got home to find my husband was struggling with some serious health issues, In February after two operations’, he was just not picking up, we had friends staying with us for the weekend and he was so under the weather he just kept going to bed and crashing out. A phone call to the hospital resulted in them telling us to come in, on arrival in quickly transpired Neil had contracted sepsis, Doctors struggled to keep him conscious. The first 24 hours were frightening as I feared he was not going to survive; they could not stabilise him. During this time, I rung close family and friends, I also spoke to close spiritual friends who were meditating internationally to send Neil healing vibes — I learned just how much this supported me during this time. Wendy who had started to work closely with Neil over the previous year was there for us both through this time as a coach, guide and as a loving friend.

The following morning, I called the hospital early — good news Neil had made it through the night. I felt a wave of relief. Thankyou, Thankyou, Thankyou. As he started to turn a corner and recover, I started to write and could not stop I discovered it is a really positive way for me to process my emotions.

Neil came home at the end of the week, still needing full bed rest for a good month to recover. I would like to say Neil fully bounced back, there were two more serious health concerns that appeared, it was the result in my mind of thirty-eight-years in a demanding corporate lifestyle. It was a shock to his nervous system, finally stopping, the lack of daily stress seemed to be giving him issues, I had seen this in retiring police officers too. You work so hard, suddenly stopping or taking a holiday. How many times have you come down with a rotten cold or some other lurgy, the body telling you — you have really been over doing it. The health issues gave Neil a huge wake up call that his lifestyle needed a drastic change. Fortunately, he listened to his body and made positive choices.

Neil sought a counsellor, eased up on the alcohol, rich food, went back to physically training and to my surprise even started yoga. He also continued to work alongside Wendy — she had even got him to meditate.

Just prior to this years retreat Wendy came and gave both of us a private breathwork session — The last few years in many ways have been full of abundance for us it was also tainted with some serious stress, navigating what life looked like for us as a couple, working on my own acceptance of my life without children, my anger and grief around that plus anxiety issues for us both. Neil had never experienced breathwork before, it is not like we breathe in yoga — this style of breathwork is a healing modality and can release trauma held in the body it is one of the most transformational practices I have tried. There is mind body and soul connection through the breath, stuck energies, stress, and blockages can be released. It had come at a perfect time. Wendy held a safe, nurturing and nourishing space for a cynical angry ex- cop who had recently found some peace as a yoga teacher and an overindulgent CEO who thought woo woo was a cocktail. Wendy led us both to explore a new modality of healing we both needed. It was a really interesting experience, one I can highly recommend, with huge emotional and energetic shifts in us both.

October 2024 saw Year 3 of retreat at the incredible Barn drift in Cley, Wendy has fallen in love with the beauty of North Norfolk, and I was delighted to have her and the retreat back on my doorstep.

I have some friends who comment just how much my life path has changed from my Police days — a few have voiced that they think that it is all a bit extreme — the yoga, philosophy , the spirituality and doing ‘the work’ all the time and I have quit drinking, boring hey, obviously I disagree. I have never felt so supported, connected, and contented in my adult life, my life of old had very little balance in it, I was burning out, with no boundaries a chronic people pleaser, who was pretty angry and resentful a lot of the time. I do not get it right all the time now, no way, there is way more clarity now, space, calm and peace in my life today. I will always listen to my friends; I will also endeavour to continue along this path as it is the most aligned, I have ever felt. Sometimes when we change it is hard for those around us. I still love them all dearly and accept yoga and the path I am travelling along is not for everyone.

In 2025 I am going to study yoga therapy and the continual ‘work’ is to keep looking at how I show up for myself and in turn others, I am choosing to keep myself accountable and also know that to teach yoga is to hold others emotionally, to be able to give people the space to heal and grow in their own unique way, I need to know honestly and truthfully where I am at myself.

I have a passion in seeing growth and individuals overcome fears, trauma and self-limiting beliefs — this work is a privilege and beyond beautiful when the shifts come even if they are small. There is always something to dig in to. Wendy will always be one of my go to teachers, healers and mirrors in my life.

‘you are all going to put a real shift in on this retreat’ Wendy tells us — it can be very emotional at times as we look closely at feelings, thoughts and parts of ourselves it would be easier to try shove down and ignore, the shadow side, the parts we may think are unlikable or unlovable , it is not just a yoga retreat and healthy living for a week. On the other side and during ‘the work’ there is the most incredible joy, lightness and laughter I have ever experienced, as consuming as this all is, it also allows us to not always take life so seriously, learning to follow our joy and tap into our inner knowing, trusting our intuition. Wendy has taught me how to alchemise pain into deep rooted joy. I have sobbed buckets of tears with Wendy I have also cried with uncontrollable laughter with her too. Everything is part of it. Wendy always has remarkable energy to hold it all. This work is not for the faint hearted.

I really wish to highlight here that everyone’s journey is unique and what works for me may not work for you, it is important to find individual routes. there may however be aspects of my journey that create curiosity, and I am always willing to share more if anything resonates for you. Consistent practices have helped me find contentment, accepting I am a messy, glorious fallible human just as much as the next human, none of us are the finished article and none of us will ever achieve perfection. I am so glad of that, it makes so much more room for errors, things to go wrong and lessons to be learned from. I do not wish to be here as a preacher but if any tiny aspect of this helps one other person, then my heart will feel a little lighter.

I was one of the first ones to arrive this year on retreat — meeting with our group knowing we have shared some really tough stuff together over previous times leaves me with a big mixed bag of emotions, what If I went backwards from last year , what if they don’t like me, what if I want to go home, what If I cannot stop myself from uncontrollably ugly crying, What if I say something stupid — ahh hello social anxiety my old friend — great to see you again !!!!! Still here after all ‘the work’. What happened to living in the moment, call yourself a yoga teacher? Please stop my mind!

As we start to settle in , Wendy’s incredible energy starts to envelop us all — we realise slowly we are all feeling the same way — just a little bit awkward — like meeting for a second date with someone you really like, knowing you might have shared just a bit more than would have been polite on the first date — 3 years in, we are all way past that ! Although each year new lovely faces join us, I feel for the new people coming into a group who know each other, it is just a little terrifying for them I guess, the old faces fully embrace and welcome the new, we have all been there, we have felt like you do. Some of us still do.

Wendy gives every morsel of herself, designs the week impeccably including our delicious food by Holly of Holly’s garden kitchen who every year ‘ Makes the house a home’ .

Wendy brims over with wisdom and knowledge as she guides us through the week, holding the deepest darkest emotions of people with levity and grace, allowing 12 inspirational women to undo what we thought we knew , wanted and aspired to be. The loops in our mind can cause us such serious suffering only with practices and consistency can we calm the fluctuations of the mind, sometimes our thoughts can get really intense it is ok, it passes and then it comes again. That is ok too.

Yoga, breathwork, meditation and journaling have been my consistent practices for some time, there is always something to look at, something lurking. The theme of this years retreat ‘Opening up to love, receiving and the chance to open up to more of you’ — I can feel my own resistance, am I open to love? Do I know how to receive love and kindness from others. All of this work is a path towards less mental suffering, building self belief and confidence knowing I am enough without the caveat of , I’m not being too full of myself am I? Or taking up space in this world without guilt that I am showing off.

The second day started with Maxine’s gentle nourishing yoga, Maxine specialises in working with regulating the nervous system, breakfast was followed by space before the morning workshop. The space in-between to think, write in my journal and connect back together, embracing the new people into the collective. The white lounge had a large L shape sofa behind it, there was a large glass windows onto a beautiful walled garden, espalier trees support each other with their branches resting on their neighbouring trees shoulders — apt you could say. The sunlight was strong. beaming into the lounge as the fire roared, so much light and that was just the start. The stories in our heads and of our lives start to unfold, our hopes, fears and dreams start to be shared in subtle, gentle, heart wide open ways.

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‘There is more that connects us than divides us and we hide the connecting parts, the shock you have in other peoples doubts is the shock you should have in your own’.

Wendy would admit she is affronting at times, she knows the truth of you before you know it yourself, highly intuitive and intelligent she slowly encourages us to take up space in our own lives. ‘Two feet in, not one foot out’

During workshops, Wendy educates us about brain function, our psychology, our childhoods and how important it is to find emotional agility for life. Post meditation an amethyst crystal is passed between us, clutching the crystal tightly each taking our time to share — shaky voices, nervous, sometimes tears, some pass entirely on this first round. The purple crystal has heard many hearts crack wide apart. Wendy has helped many hearts heal.

‘The parts that people hide when they share are the parts, we like the most about them’.

I feel the pain in others truth uttered out loud for the first time ever, tears roll down my cheeks and theirs, what an honour to be able to listen to these women’s lives. I feel the pain as I identify with the struggle.

The speed of the world we live in means that so much connection is lost and yet connection comes in times together, building bonds, trust and sharing our vulnerabilities , healing is found in the right spaces with people who voice their struggles, it takes empathy , compassion and kindness to listen without fixing or offering a platitude of some kind. It is no wonder that we are on social media, talking out into the abyss, bearing our souls and poetry, is anybody out there, is anyone hearing me, I wish to connect, is the silent message no one is speaking out loud.

‘What would it take to be fully immersed in joy and love without holding back?’

This is one of many journaling prompts — self enquiry paths we explore- Wendy helps me see all my own resistance.

‘The surrender of struggle, embrace it all’.

Other facilitators are brought in, we have a cacao ceremony, A shamanic breathwork journey by the incredible Lisa Li, a sauna whisking ritual carried out by the lovely Tom from Sauna box. This is on the remaining days of the week amongst more meditations, breathing, journaling and sharing, maybe you would not think it there is so much joyous laughter too. Learning to live life in gratitude is discussed, we get addicted to moaning, Wendy points out the abundance in our lives ‘ you are staying in a multi million pound house but some of you will have found something that you could be slightly put out about or something to grumble about’ she was not wrong. Imagine if we gave as much time and energy discussing what made us smile rather than complaining about how short the summer was this year.

I experience the full range of emotions and every year at some point ponder driving home and escaping to avoid the feelings, I always stay and I always rebook, as the days march on, the week soon ends I am left feeling gloriously connected to 11 intelligent funny vibrant beautiful witty ,women who inspire me, who make me cry with their vulnerability and power in sharing with those voices that quiver as they try to express their words and their truths. For me going forward I see that life is joyous, abundant, beautiful and full of love, to connect to those I love and those who love me. To let go of my rejection and resistance to receiving love. This work also has made me learn how to genuinely like and love myself — it took me a long time to say that it is true. An after-meditation share, I found myself telling everyone in the room how every single one of them are so phenomenal I hope they can see that in themselves, a quiet voice speaks up and says, ‘that includes you too clare.’ My insides squirm and then I remember the quote ‘what you see in me is what I see in you’ These women are my mirrors — can I finally start to accept and trust that? Could you?

‘You are the youngest version of you, you will ever be, what will this young version do to make the old you proud’.

The mind can really send you in some spirals, throw up obstacles and resistance, blocking the flow of abundance into your life, it is learning that all parts of us are valid, take up space, with every piece of you and your magical soul.

‘Hold the fear, Hold the love and step forward.’

It is hard to capture in words the magic created by Wendy, I have shifted so much in my life due to her, her words inspire me, and she is full of love. I am so grateful that Wendy is part of my life, to have found such wonderful connections with all the incredible humans that come on retreat each year, who all inspire me to be a better person on hearing their vulnerabilities it makes me very proud to be a woman. An increasingly fearless one at that.

‘Take your dreams and self more seriously — life less seriously’.

I used to fear being in big groups of women, not anymore, these weeks teach me the power of love connection and vulnerability is truly beautiful and safe.

Thankyou Wendy for teaching me how to take up more space in my own life, be more me, process my emotions, cry with laughter and sadness and feel true joy for my life, you are one magical human, and your light is an inspiration to so many. Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou,

With all my love

your friend always

Clare x