Mother's day and connection.

Sunday 15th March 2026

Mother’s Day

It is Mother’s Day, and this is the first Mother’s Day I have ever had where I have not felt triggered by being childless, not by choice. I think this might be healing.

Over the last few years my heart has repeatedly broken on this marked occasion.

Families meeting, cards, flowers, scribbly cute drawings and the outpouring of unsolicited, very visible love on the internet.

I have never had that, and I can hand on heart admit this year I am at a stage where I don’t mind. I never thought I would get here.

Sundays are my new fun day, and I like to get out of the house for most of the day.

I have recently got myself a little Sunday routine. I have found Sundays the hardest since my divorce. It always seemed such an intimate coupley day. Even Neil and I used to find time on a Sunday to chill together, and that was always rare.

Today I woke up, took my fur babies for a run over the fields, came back, got my running gear on and went to join the small but perfectly formed Holt Running Club for a gentle 5k around Holt Park.

Then it was off to Norwich. I’m training in aerial yoga and I found this little spot, The Merchants House it's become a regular haunt of mine to sit and be. It’s a beautiful little café with sharing tables. I Love it you just say, “Is it OK to sit down?” and no one says ever says no.

It gave me a flash back to a caravan holiday in Cornwall when I was a kid I love cornwall so much. I had a much older brother and sister, so I was really like an only child. I used to drag my Dad out for hours of French cricket from the caravan while everyone else snoozed. Even then I would pack bags of books to take away. Some things never change. I am usually lumping around several books with me.

On this trip there was a big family all with vibrant matching red hair in the biggest caravan I had ever seen. There seemed to be loads of them and they were having fun. I watched them intently from the window for at least two days. Maybe an early sign I would make a good surveillance cop in later years to come.

My Mum watching me. said, “Why don’t you go and ask if you can play?”

I remember thinking, what… you can do that?

She said, “Just go and ask politely.”

So that’s what I did. I was welcomed by the oldest sister. I still remember her auburn curls cascading down her back.

“We’re playing tag.” She said. Imediately taking me by the hand.

It was such fun and an amazing holiday. I didn’t actually want to go on the day trips my parents had planned. I just wanted to stay and play on the Cornish hillside with the gorgeous red-haired family.

On a recent retreat someone said to me, “I thought I liked to play, Clare, but you really do, It's like another level, It brings such joy.” I thought it was a really lovely thing to be told. People never fail to surpise me. I know I have always been quirky and not been one to follow the crowd.

Recently I paid to have a test to see if I had ADHD I think I have been searching for some answers lately much to my suprise I don't have it, I was convinced I was going to be full on ADHD to the max. I had no issue if I had been by the way.

I don’t think I’ve ever really grown up yet as an adult, and I don’t think I really want to. I still often feel like that awkward little girl. With no kids and no husband I have to push myself out of my comfort zone to find connection.

As an adult there are so many people who i would like to say, “Do you want to come and play with me?” to. It feels so difficult sometimes, but I’ve reached a point where I don’t care.

As a single, childless woman, if I don’t set out to find people I would be very isolated. As I always say, I’m actually quite introverted, but I do love a laugh and good fun with lovely company.

Sitting in The Merchants House today I realised how much people fascinate me. They always have. I love team dynamics. I love the psychology of people and I love watching herd mentality and how people follow each other.

It fascinates me how couples cling to each other as they get older. I think it’s a beautiful thing, but it’s maybe not something I might or might not have in my lifetime. I don’t know yet. I’m open to all of it. I would love to find someone I wanted to cling too this much I think maybe I am too free spirited and find that level of clingyness scary, we will see.

I love to people watch, and being in Norwich is actually super fun for that as it’s quite a quirky city full of creatives and students.

In The Merchants House today, I grabbed my journal, a brie and cranberrie toastie yums, an apple juice and a one shot oat milk latte. Anyone can sit anywhere, and being single sometimes it’s lovely just to feel part of this little community.

Today I sat opposite a older lady with grey bobbed hair, wearing lilac sunglasses. She had a huge slice of chocolate cake with cream, smiling away to herself. We sat peacefully opposite .each other. Now and again she smiled, but we didn’t speak. I always wonder what life story there has been I would have loved to of asked you cant though can you.

I’m reading a really interesting book at the moment called Journey of Souls. It talks about the paths of souls and contracts with each other the people we are meant to meet, the people we will have fleeting glimpses of, and the souls in this lifetime we will have deep, long-lasting loving connections with.

Apparently it is pre-written and we manifest the humans in our lives according to the book.

Another lady brushed past me with fluffy black ear muffs, smart silver sparkling trainers and a black floaty skirt. she hustled her man over to a table with her she was leading the way. I love a puff ball skirt they were quite the height of fashion in the 80's skirt I had a purple one with a petticoat underneath it. It used to spin beautifully at school discos. My mind floats about looking at all these random souls, or are they random?

Anyway, it’s a great book and I would suggest giving it a read if you’re interested in things we cannot explain.

We cannot meet everyone in this world, and only a few will ever stay. Some will be fleeting, just a millisecond. Some may want to climb inside our souls and take up residence, becoming so attached to the connection.

Connection is a beautiful thing as is the sliding door notion of it all.

I trust in divine timing. If it was meant for you, it will find you. It can't not.

Anyway, in the hope that we just keep building the community at the mill, I’ve recently started a Stormy’s Social group on WhatsApp.

13 of us so far, we have booked a comedy night in Norwich and a pub quiz at The King’s Head in Letheringsett.

Anyone can join. Good vibes only.

Community and connection are good for my heart and soul. I’m pretty certain it’s good for others too.

I’m happy to go first and be the weird one looking for soul contracts and connection.

If you would like to come and play, let me know and I will add you to the group.

with love and so much social awkwardness always

Clare