Trusting your intuition

What does it mean to truly Trust your intuition. Is it ok to trust your feelings , remember it’s the thoughts that are the unreliable ones. How do you learn to start trusting yourself without outsourcing your life to everyone else’s opinions around you?

This year I have started to spend a little bit of time in the Isle of Skye, I like island living there is no intention to leave Norfolk as I love my life and community there - island living though is something else ,another level of peace.

I thought I had found my peaceful existence after leaving the Police in London , finding solace in the North Norfolk coastline and countryside it is bliss, early morning beach walks, the pace was way slower than where I had been at with some work to do on my nervous system and general mindset during that period, there is still much to be peeled back and undone. I accept in my lifetime for me this will never end. I am actually excited for that. As following my intuition has led me exactly to where I am today everything I have done or experienced has shaped me along the way and with all the ups and downs I am grateful - for my mind body and soul I am in a good space. It is a constant practice and a constant choice.

It is so true that when you get used to being around the height of other peoples emotions and trauma sadly after awhile you get used to that it almost becomes the norm, when I think about the level of abuse you take as a police officer even verbally over the course of your career it makes me recoil, the working environment and I don’t like this word was pretty toxic too at times in order to survive as a female I had unknowingly armoured up - I mean I choose that career, there was many options I could have chosen but I wanted to serve a community, listening, communicating, guiding and helping I was good at it, I honestly believe positively it has shaped, grounded and humbled me.

Friday after another glorious class at the Mill I scooped up my friend and her dog Meg (who got married to my dog Sid at a village fete the other year - that’s another story) We jumped in my camper van and wended our way, I love driving, I love a road trip , as we drove forty eight episodes of podcasts ensued- no we didn’t listen to them we spoke them to eachother.

You know you are around the right people in your life by the amount you talk - a lot ! It doesn’t happen for me with everyone but with my tribe it gets to a point where we probably need our jaws wired shut. I love talking, as much as I have really worked on knowing and trusting myself - these souls are my counsel, advisors, sounding boards. You say ‘Do you think this is unreasonable’ the answer already known to you - but when your tribe sits there mouth agape , you know you can give your inner knowing a thank you.

There is very little my tribe does not know, I used to outsource so much more of my own power, knowing, intuition asking random bods this or that - now my crew is small and trusted.

Talking about work always comes up and I am so grateful and fortunate my work is a passion, and a service , it is my Dharma. It never ever feels like work and I realise that is is not the case for many, it was not the case for me in the past. Often it is spoken that Yoga teachers can burn out , you can become an unpaid counsellor, Yoga is meant to stir up emotions, it is meant to make you questions your entire existence -why am I here, what am I , who am I ? How do I live with the dualistic life of suffering and joy? A lot of teachers will talk about how important it is to protect your energy and do their upmost to not talk to people after class , I have been taught this by one teacher too , by another teacher I was opened to the idea of tapping into the infinite supply of universal energy- so I feel with that and my background in the Police I am good to go and happy to listen. When I peel off to take these breaks away I am fully plugging in to recharge and retain my own balance for life. Plus despite this world I am human too and my humanness is as messy as everyone else’s at times. Yoga helps you cope will all storms.

I actually do try to live as much as I can in the present - the past has gone , absolutely no idea what my future holds so the present is a good place to hang out. It can stop some pretty unhealthy spirals if you can find your spot there.

The bank holiday traffic was pretty heavy and we took a pit stop at a camp site in the lake district on the way. My friend Anne jumped out , the site was rammed - might be slim pickings to stay here we thought. She came back shaking her head no. We turned around , the dogs anxiously awaiting their freedom. I said let’s try one more place - we pulled into Hillcrest at Pooley Bridge Anne popped back into reception.

A cheerful man with a shiny bald head jumped on a golf cart and said give me a few minutes I have the last space for you (Thankyou universe) He slotted us in to the last spot for a rest, leaned in my drivers window admiring the handsome pooches in the back and started chatting.

‘I have one of them spaniels, Hector he’s only two , lovely dog , died his hair green once though, the Mrs didn’t like it shaved it all off said it looked ridiculous , I liked it - anyway have a good weekend. Oh and by the way you won’t get anywhere to eat but if you go to the secret garden in town and tell them we sent you can eat there’. (Thankyou universe)

First real night sleeping in my van, of course we didn’t sleep much so we got up early the next day, gave the dogs a run , scared a man with a visler pup , as we regaled the story of Sid and megs wedding to him ‘Right have a good trip must be going’ He said.

We motored on, If you have never driven to Scotland as epic as the journey is, it is also incredibly beautiful, passing by Ben Nevis, Glen coe, Glenshiels , the beauty of Eilean Donan castle, on to the sparse and rugged landscape of the Isle of Skye.

We stopped for a dog walk, had a late lunch and arrived a little weary early evening. Greeted by Kerrie and her two rescue dogs. I met Kerrie at a yoga retreat two years ago and after a random decision one christmas to avoid January in the UK Kerrie joined me for a month in India - Ashtanga training for kerrie - Vinyasa for me , suffice to say we have become friends. I love the saying you have not met all the people in your life yet who will love you and through the yoga community I have truly met some of the most glorious souls in my life.

Island living is slow, you have to think about your food shop , it is not as accessible, it makes you aware of how much we take for granted. I woke late and mooched downstairs, made a coffee taking the spot up in the little garden room overlooking the rugged bay of Waternish with views out to the Islands of Harris and Lewis.

There is Something in the stillness , when the winds and rains subside, I can feel it in my bones. It is a reminder of just how still we can become with little distraction , when we can find these moments; then and only then can we tap into it all, the magic of clarity , the inspiration of the intuition.

Slow mornings are my version of complete luxury, reading a book , meditating, Sadhana it is known in Sanskrit, a slow morning with spiritual practices.

The other thing about my mini tribe is they know as much as I love a chat I also love quiet. It was Ghandi that said

‘ if you can’t improve in silence don’t say anything. ‘

Mornings are my time for noble silence. It is bliss.

We finally got ourselves together and took a hike over to Geary with views of the Ascrib islands walking down to a black sand beach. The dogs in their element and so am I.

Kerrie is currently manifesting to be a Scottish Hiking guide, she would be very good, she knows all these tiny little gems, delighting in others joy as she walks along saying things like I cannot wait to see your faces once we get over this next ridge and this is a proper fill your cup up day !

We stopped off for a slice of cake in the Coffee yurt perched on the hillside , a seasonal place with views over the bay, as I walked in a man’s voice said, ‘This is Clare’ I still need to readjust to island life as my new neighbour Graham an Ex Thames Valley Superintendent , introduced me to his entire table of friends, giving them all an awkward wave I sat down with Kerrie, Anne and the floofs.

We slurped and munched and headed home, for an afternoon yoga practice on the deck in the Garden. A lazy afternoon ensued, a healthy dinner followed by an early night as we had plans the next day.

After a brisk dog walk, We took the paddle boards down to the bay, bobbed about for a while on the sea of the hebrides, a cormorant sunned himself on a buoy , we paddled from one side of the bay to the other, stopping to sunbath (yep in scotland) surrounded by kelp and the ebbing tide. Crystal clear deep blue waters, I could stay here forever.

I could have stayed longer but we where off on one of Kerries hikes, an hours drive from the house we made it to Camasunary Bay - we parked at Kilmarie.

Prior to this was a sharp pit stop at Slighacan a magical place. It’s not just the iconic Sligachan Bridge with its spectacular views of the Cuillin Hills, the real magic is in the water that flows beneath. The River Sligachan has been enchanted by the fairies.

Legend has it You must get on your hands and knees by the bridge and submerge your face completely in the water. When you stand, don’t wipe any of the water off your face but leave it to dry naturally and the fairies will bless you with eternal beauty, I am not one for lotions and potions and I don’t wear make up that often anymore , decided to stop dying my hair too , I have been many colours of the years but there was no way I was not going to try out the Fairy powers on the Isle.

So of course we had a go!

Eternally beautified we carried on to the hike, a slow meander through a winding valley around Torrin and Loch Slapping past Amy’s cake shop.

We started the climb, sheep roaming so dogs clipped on much to their annoyance. Kerrie bounding away, as fit as yoga can make you there is always way more room for cardiovascular fitness in my life , as I stopped to take a breather I turned to look at where I had come from the view stretched on for miles, mountains, lochs, sheep - just awesome. I feel tiny and connected, grounded and protected all at once.

The bay is a white sand beach framed by The Cuillin mountains to the North and the rugged coastline of the Sleat Pennisula to the South, nestled on a bed of the softness grass a tiny stone bothy. Now I could live here I heard myself say.

My friends walked on ahead and I took awhile, I have been at a cross roads for sometime, a personal decision, a big decision , one of those ones where you know the answer it just takes a while to know you are ready to trust yourself and have unshakeable faith in yourself. Perched on a rock feeling so small and insignificant in the vastness of it all. I almost laughed at how absurd it is that we allow the mind to make some things in our life seem so big, so insurmountable - when nothing is really. I allowed the silence to guide me. The peace told me what I had known for years, at that very moment the phone call came , undoing was done, another layer of the self peeled away . The silence had given the intuition its voice back, without the stillness without the clarity in my own mind I would continue to get swept along with the noise and the constant information overload of this world.

And yes — the thoughts are often tangled in fear, conditioning, and doubt. Feelings can be messy too, but they are messengers. When you develop the space to sit with them without reacting, they become clarifying rather than confusing. The trick is in learning which internal signals are wisdom and which are echoes of old survival strategies. Allow yourself to peel back those layers, listening in stillness, letting the landscape speak as much as the inner world — that is the practice of trusting yourself.

There will be so many chapters in this beautiful lifetime - hopefully. Shifting from the Police to the healing calm of Norfolk, I am exploring now a deeper connection to island life , it is not an escape it’s a return to a version that is no longer armoured and no longer needs to be constantly braced, walking on eggshells around others emotions it is time to live from intuition not obligation.

I am learning to listen to the pulse of my own being and I surround myself with good people, a tribe who do not drown out your voice, your spirit, your uniqueness, the right ones , hold space for it. wise counsel who mirror back your knowing, not override it. That’s a rare, precious and glorious find.

Giving yourself the space and time is necessary to disconnect, completely disconnect from all you have known, all you have ever learned , all the ways you think life should be , all the things you are constantly told consciously and unconsciously - to open yourself up to the flow of it all, you have to learn more than anything to be comfortable in your discomfort, knowing that through difficult decisions comes growth and alignment to what is your purpose. The stillness helped me decide, the decision wasn’t rationalised it didn't need to be it was a knowing, if you find yourself at one of those big crossroads in life -I can highly recommend the Isle of Skye - Camasuanary bay , a spell was broken, magic happened. I am grateful for it all. This stillness is rare and getting to a point of really trusting yourself is truly precious.