Happy new self critical year

wait, what ?

That’s not the message I want from my yoga teacher.

Welcome everyone to 2025 !

Who honestly out of all of you has already woken up and criticised themselves today ?

Maybe the blind hangover has had an effect, maybe you got up staggered to the mirror and listed the multitude of things you think are currently wrong with you or you perceive you are lacking ? Not happy with your relationship ? With your job? Your situation right now ?

Stop right there !

I have not met a single woman who hasn’t or doesn’t criticise herself, sorry fellas I can’t speak for you - I know you do the same too on the quiet. Us women are not afraid to verbalise our self criticism often it is a way we bond.

‘Oh my god I have eaten 400 boxes of chocolates , I am so fat - lettuce for me in January, I am so rubbish at sticking to any diet, i feel like crap, have you seen the bags under my eyes? Oh look I have 24 more grey hairs since christmas - god I am awful.’

Ok maybe a bit extreme but we are extreme aren’t we?

How many of your friend’s do you sit with and the conversation goes like this.

‘Do you know what I really love my body today, It is beautiful and amazing and I super grateful for it’

Would you think yeah, you are amazing or would you think she’s a bit up herself ? Why can’t we speak like this to ourselves and eachother. Some do but very few. It is not humble to put yourself down or be self depreciating even if you say it jokingly.

One of the main reasons I tend not to teach in January is to avoid the moans , the biggest behaviour loops , I will wait till the self criticism dies down.

Do you start a new year with the same chat ?

‘Right that’s it, gym every day , diet , saving my money this year, no more toxic relationships, I am quitting that job’

The New year is a time for reflection it is also a time to see with clarity where we are looping, staying in the same beahaviour pattern year after year. Stuck on a roundabout fearful to commit to a turning or worry about the shame of trying a turning and having to come back again if it wasn’t the right path. So what ! - take a turn this year, a new one , come back and try another as many damn times as you like.

This year I will be different - great - will you be though ? Big sweeping changes do not stick !

The saying goes .

What you are not changing you are actively choosing.

My philosophy teacher told me -

‘Be where you are now not where you think you want to be’

Is this you ?

Once 2025 starts, it will be different ……Once I finish this course ….. Pay off this debt …. leave this relationship …… go on that holiday …. get that new car

Be where you are now, right now, in this moment.

Then take small consistent steps towards the life you dream of.

Most of us start new years pouring from a pretty empty cup , a little depleted from taking care of others, over indulging in sugar, alcohol, in need of next months pay day and moaning how cold it is. For these chats I am out it is the same every year.

As a yoga teacher I am no better or worse than the next person I am not preaching - I am teaching from my own roller coaster life experiences - the best thing about teaching is that the biggest mirror for me is you !

When you turn up for class, how you are feeling, how you have been taking care and treating yourselves is important to me. I have no control over that, I am not here to fix but I am here to teach -tools and techniques for you to feel better mentally, physically, spirtually and emotionally.

So what small steps can we take to gently come away from being so self critical.

When you look at yourself in the mirror, or you see a picture of yourself or maybe someone compliments you. How do you react ?

‘Oh i need a haircut, look at those wrinkles, what am i wearing’

‘oh thanks for the compliment , do you want my glasses , you have got to be joking’

This is ‘CROP FAILURE’

I am not sure if you have heard this before and I am uncertain as to who coined this phrase but i like it !

Crop failure - what seeds are we sowing in our fields ? If the field we are cultivating is to have a vibrant beautiful abundant crop, we need to only be sowing the good seeds - the seeds represent our self talk - we are the crop, the body is the field. If you are full of self criticism all the time undoubtedtly you will be heavily criticising yourself and all those around you too. Now that is just a ton load of bad energy. With these bad seeds, the crop will fail or certainly will not rise up healthily or to its fullest potential. So let’s not cultivate a wilted crop this year.

Here is couple of exercises for you to consider.

Positive self talk - even on the really hard days

Go and stand in front of a mirror - if you want to be super brave you can do this naked ! (small steps remember- clothed is also fine)

If you are already recoiling at this suggestion or worse still would say to me I don't ever look at myself in the mirror - this may be a good one to try . Go gentle on yourself!

Take a moment looking at yourself

Breath in and close your eyes

Open your eyes and sow some good seeds for 2025 for yourself

you may say something to your reflection like

I am so proud of you

I am so beautiful

I am so amazing

I am so inspirational

Don’t look and list the things you perceive you lack, remind yourself of who you are. If like me you are a dog lover, try and look at yourself the way your dog looks at you ! They think you are phenomenal -with or without make up , whatever dress size you are, single , married happily or unhappily - they could not give a damn they love you as you are! Can you do 60 days straight of some positive seed sowing.

If you find it really hard to do the exercise - I have got you, this is a completely normal response it comes from old conditioning and I struggled to do this myself in the begining. In this case take a breath and let what comes come! Try again tomorrow or the next time you catch your reflection.

Try to do this exercise twice a day or more !

Sow good seeds !

If you feel you are stuck in a loop or a behavioural pattern, that’s ok, there is no judgement, what is meant for you is not going to pass you by and we are learning lessons along the way all the time. None of this stuff is easy but it is life changing with small consistent steps. Try saying good stuff to yourself and genuinely compliment others too if you see something wonderful in them, tell them. what you reap you sow.

Take a few of these phrases and keep them as a personal mantra whenever you feel a little shakey or that criticism has been kicking in, replace that sneaky monkey mind with something like this

I am loveable

I am inspirational

I am calm - whatever works here - you choose.

Here are some small steps to feel good this January

No diets

Just cut back on the goodies , the refined sugars, the stodgy beige foods. Give left over tins of sweets or biscuits or any other food with a good sell by date to a local food bank - There’s one in cromer and many can be easily located. Maybe even consider volunteering - that’s another blog for another day.

Move

stick the tunes on , dance in the kitchen , go to yoga , go for a walk even if it’s raining -movement improves mindset.

Sow good seeds

Do the mirror work exercises -anytime you catch your reflection

Journal once a week

some prompts to get you started

Write down today, daily if you can , all the times you caught yourself giving yourself a hard time , self criticising yourself or someone else

Where do you want to be?

Where do you think you are now ?

What consistent small steps are you able to commit too ?

What positive seeds can you say to yourself today ?

What word will be your mantra for 2025 ?

Write a positive paragraph about yourself

Here I will have a go !

Hi I am Clare, I am nearly 48 wonderful years old, I love myself, I have a healthy life and a roof over my head, clean running water, a warm bed, clean warm clothes to wear and some amazing dogs as pets. I am super grateful for these things and many more in my life. I am excited to be travelling this month to Antarctica and Patagonia it is a trip of a lifetime for me. I deserve all the good things that flow to me in this life. This year I am committed to only sowing good seeds, If I find I am self criticising myself or others I will be aware of it and with grace I will remind myself I am not perfect and nor do I have to be.I know if I speak better to myself , my health, heart and mind will feel good. I remind myself that we are all here doing our best. It is ok to make mistakes. I will reframe any criticism and sow the good stuff I will speak out loud telling myself , I am inspirational , I am loved, I am calm and contented, I love my body and I am grateful for all it does for me in my awesome lifetime. My word for 2025 is Love. Happy 2025 to me -I am going to make it magical and learn any lessons I need to along the way. Above all else I am grateful.

Love me.

Every cell of your body is listening to you - it is why plants thrive when they are watered and spoken too with love by their gardeners. I have struggled with this too and it is no piece of cake, have a go if you fancy it I am always free for a chat - if it goes well there are aspects that can be added on , if you are struggling to do this - I am happy to chat about that too.

Feeling good about ourselves and our lives starts with us nothing outside of us or anyone else will fill that - it really is an inside job - so if you want 2025 to be a change from the old patterns start with this.

I will be back teaching at the beginning of February and if I hear any bad seeds in class this year I wil gently come over to you and say ‘crop failure’ quietly to remind you. (You have been warned 🤣)

This life is your life and you can choose how you live it. We all have the ability to have a beautiful , positive abundant , stress less and contented life, it starts by talking better to ourselves.

This year give yourself grace, go slow where you can, remember you are a beautiful vibrant and unique soul as you are right now in this moment.

Thanks for reading , any comments or progress reports let me know !

It really is an inside job ! Self talk is crucial to inner peace.

See you back on the mat in February. Emma is back from January and you can book on line as usual - there is an exciting year ahead with our first mini day retreat in planning for the 8th March -. interested then drop me a message.

Happy New year to you all

Wishing you love peace contentment and joy

lots of love

Clare