
When the inner buddha moved in for a week.
- Jun 22
- 6 min read
Sometimes in your life you make a decision and it’s a good one, a bold one, a strong one. You feel proud of yourself and empowered. You also realise for every action there is a reaction.
That decision could mean that the path you had laid ahead crumbles to nothing and you find yourself literally dangling off the edge of the precipice for the rest of your life.
If you have ever found yourself in this predicament, it can feel like the universe has kicked you off the cliff only to be waiting under the fall to scoop you up.
This last week, for so many reasons, I was scooped up by my teacher and friend Vidhi who runs Awaken Inner Buddha.
We can pride ourselves on our strength and courage at times and be full of resilience until something happens that actually scares you and maybe makes your invincible power feel, well, just a little bit vulnerable.
A chance meeting with my teacher Vidhi in London after my course saw us have a delicious Thali near Battersea Power Station. This year is my year of complete surrender, literally going with the flow and being open to what beauty comes in. I honestly release control, and it is exciting and petrifying at the same time.
As a result of a curry and a late-night walk through Battersea Park (which was locked up, meaning we had to both scale the wrought iron gates to escape – there’s a metaphor in itself), Vidhi said, “Why don’t I come to Norfolk, Clare? I could do some classes.” As a lover of the random I was like, “Amazing, yes! You can do a solstice offering too.”
And so Monday, lovely Linny from Holt Taxis (I still need to pay the cab fare) dropped Vidhi at the Watermill — whereby I gave him a huge hug. How grateful was I to have some safe masculine energy rock up in my life for a week.
We walked into the mill and Vidhi, who I can only describe as a beautiful Indian charmer, started to work his magic on everyone in his path.
Long chats ensued with Michelle the miller about her black wheat that originated in India. Then we popped to Budgens to get some supplies. Vidhi eats ayurvedically, meaning everything is as fresh as it can be and seasonal. It also means shopping takes its sweet time as he feels and caresses every veg, every fruit — smelling, touching — it is a sight to behold. And when you have been tear-arsing around like a headless chicken for a few weeks, it’s a huge life lesson to slow the hell down. We got to the checkout with the best of produce to be found in Holt and we had a huge queue behind us at the till. Slowly, mindfully, Vidhi unpacked his shopping and with the meaningful grace of a Buddhist monk he stated, “I forgot the cream,” and peacefully floated across the supermarket to find it, leaving a line of bemused faces behind him. Things like this make me laugh and make me see just how much more slowly I need to go in my own life.
Personally, in the last few weeks, life has been — and I never moan — exhausting and challenging. So delighted was I when we got back to my cottage, I announced I was going to take a bath and Vidhi replied, “Great, relax. I will make dinner.” Absolutely my idea of heaven.
Happy days! After a much-needed long soak in the bath, I was called down to a feast! Beautiful vegetarian home-cooked breads, daal — it was delicious soul food.
“What is in this?” I asked.
“Love,” Vidhi replied with a huge grin.
Vidhi operates with love at the core of everything he does. He is constantly operating in acts of selfless service and works hard as a yoga therapist to empower men and women to find their path back to self-love — and my favourite: unshakeable self-belief.
You know you are walking with a spiritual teacher when you take your chaotic spaniels for an evening walk over the back of Felbrigg, only to find you are walking in complete and utter peace and silence together, noticing the sunset as it dances on the swaying cornfields.
“Let’s go this way,” Vidhi says, veering off down a path I had never travelled before. Again, he has a knack for taking me along the road less travelled.
Over the week, we had many beautiful, deep, spiritual chats.
“The best reaction is no reaction,” he told me. “Stay still, Clare. Let them dance around you. Become so still nothing will bother you.”
His words soothed my soul.
Over the course of the week, he did what he does best — providing I Am the Storm yogis with wisdom, classes, chakra healing, unlocking seeds of curiosity in many — the start of the journey for them that I travelled and continue to travel with him.
“Clare, are you still doing your mirror exercises? You still need to be doing these.”
He is not wrong. As I walk this path and allow for what needed to drop away to go, it is only when that happens that you realise just how supportive your practices — and the wonderful teachers who love and support you — are. I do need to keep doing my mirror exercises to honour practicing what I preach, to continually keep working on my own self-love.
In the past, I have been so many different versions of me, some that maybe did not have the strongest self-worth attached to them, and those versions didn’t always make the best decisions for me. I forgive those versions and send them love. We are here to evolve — constantly evolving — but always remembering that healing is cyclical, and what we think we have nailed and moved past will occasionally raise its ugly head and say, “Hi, I am your shadow, just reminding you I am still here lurking — available for triggering, weddings and christenings!” Seriously though, some stuff we will never truly shift, but we become more self-aware and compassionate with all parts of us.
We had a busy week with practices and individual 1-2-1s at the mill. We would get up, Vidhi would make a healthy breakfast for us both, then we would sometimes walk my dogs along the path next to the field with the magnetic miniature pony that would always make a beeline for us.
On this morning we chatted — or I did, clearly a sign of my busy mind.
“Vidhi, my favourite film is Eat Pray Love. I am obsessed with Julia Roberts, even to this day, and I have watched that film so many times I think I have manifested it to be my actual life. All I need now is the trip to Bali. Oh God, I would love to go to Bali!” — blah blah blah, on and on.
Vidhi, in complete stillness, looked at me and said,
“I was an extra in that film. I met Julia.”
I stopped in my tracks.
“Shut up!” I laughed.
Vidhi said,
“You know when Julia goes to the ashram and there is a happy clappy Indian guy there — that was me. Also, read the book, it is way better.”
As an avid watcher, I knew exactly where he meant. I burst out laughing — a big long glorious laugh. We were both laughing. Laughter is the best healer, always.
And so after some incredible work with individuals this week, Summer Solstice was upon us. Fourteen glorious souls booked in for a 7am start at the mill.
I asked for noble silence to start, because it is a practice I adore. I like my mornings to be super quiet and it stops me from being the chatterbox that I am. The studio was filled. The windows were open with the rushing stream of the River Glaven below us, birdsong, incense burning, and a pot of locally grown sweet peas graced the windowsill.
Asana, pranayama, and a deeply transformative Metta meditation ending with a prayer to love and forgive ourselves and everyone in our lives.
For me, it was so special to have our beautiful yoga community experience Vidhi’s teachings. Moments like this make my heart full — full — and sometimes give me clarity as to what the reason behind some of the big struggles were. This is my path. It has brought me, and continues to bring me, the most incredible humans to love and be loved by — and that is deeply humbling.
Vidhi teaches with humour, compassion, love and grace. I very much enjoyed sitting with my pain! I felt super smiley afterwards as I had some heartfelt shares with some of you.
All that is left to say is that I am not sure if Master Vidhi will see this but:
Thank you, Vidhi. I love you.
You have scooped me up and taken care of me, loved me, hugged me and fed me. All my basic human needs were abundantly met by your kindness this week. You have no idea just how many human hearts you touch and make just that little bit lighter — mine has been one of them! Forever grateful to you, my dear teacher and friend. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
See you in August when you can make it back — and also super excited to join you in Kerala next year too.
Thank you. I love myself. I am so beautiful. I am so inspirational — as are you.
I would not be where I am now, embodied in feminine power, without you.
With all my love,
Clare
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